Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it’s awful.

They breed ‘em strong.

waitingforestragon — Sat, 30 May 2009 16:31:32 +0000

: These cobbles are going to twist my ankle. Will you piggy-back me to the restaurant?

: Sigh. Ok. Hop on.

: Ok! GO!

: OMG, you’ve got a vice grip like a Belgian whore!

: Yeah, I’m pretty much awesome.

What, like, you don’t know that off the top of your head?

waitingforestragon — Sun, 24 May 2009 11:10:01 +0000

2am:

: TWO THOUSAND AND NINE. In Roman munerals! That’s your challenge, pilgrim!

: Uh..IX..no wait…MCM….um…GOD YOU’RE SUCH A DUMBASS.

: That is incorrect. I win.

That’s totally what a REAL lolcat would say.

waitingforestragon — Sun, 24 May 2009 11:07:31 +0000

: Hey!! You wanna act like wired cats for twenty minutes?!

: Nah….sounds like too much effort.

It’s not exactly Tolstoy.

waitingforestragon — Sat, 23 May 2009 10:42:35 +0000

: ..but I just don’t get “Terminator” as a premise – like, the machines can’t enslave humanity because they can’t catch one guy? Couldn’t they capture everyone else and just be like, “Hey, whatevs, we’ve got all of ‘em but one.” And then they could do eviiiiiiil deeds and stuff. I mean, who cares about one guy?

: Listen, it’s more complicated than that. I mean, they had to send themselves to the past to try and kill him. And stuff. They need to kill him. It’s like..their mission.

: BUT WHY? Why can’t he just be the lone, uncaptured human? I mean he’d die eventually, right? And then the machines would be like, “Score, he’s gone now, and we’ve already got everyone else under our eviiiiiiil control.”

: GOD. You’re such a dumbass.

That’s how those German cannibals got started.

waitingforestragon — Sun, 17 May 2009 21:09:31 +0000

: NO WAY! I’m not smelling my sister’s shoes! That’s….fucked up.

Sorry, what terms?

waitingforestragon — Sun, 17 May 2009 21:08:36 +0000

: Dude! Do you wanna know how awesome I am in….terms…of…..awesome?

Break from the usual: Conversation with stylist.

waitingforestragon — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 09:38:38 +0000

So, none of you knows what I look like. Basic description: stubbornly dark hair, kind of olive skin-tone, brown eyes. You get the picture: not one of the Hitler Jüngen. But, being in love with extreme style changes I went in to Edinburgh yesterday to get my hair done. When I say done I should really say “chemically obliterated”. To wit:

Before:

Natural

And now:

Whoah.

Doing my best Andy Warhol impression.

: Uh, wow, this burns a little bit.

: Oh yeah, it’ll do that.

: Oh, you might find that, uh, over the next week or so some of your hair comes away. Don’t worry, that’ll stop.

: Comes away?! Do you mean fall out?

: Yep!

I MAINTAIN IT IS ALL TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Knowing Latin is important.

waitingforestragon — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:50:25 +0000

: Hey, look. It says “Veni Vidi Vici”.

: What does that mean?

: It means “I came, I saw, I conquered”. Yeah, you conquered my fucking lungs. THANKS A LOT. Stupid pillaging Romans.

THE END OF DAYS IS UPON US. …right?

waitingforestragon — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:17:26 +0000

: Holy crap. There’s blood coming out of my ear.

<boyfriend, concerned>: Uh, that’s not good you know.

: I KNOW. Has there been a nuclear war or something?

: What?

..and none of them contains a body!

waitingforestragon — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:07:01 +0000

11pm

: You want your pillow?

: Yeah.

: Where is it?

: In the trunk of your car. In a big garbage bag.

: Well which one? There are like, five of them.

: We have such fancy luggage.